Friday, March 7, 2014

In honor of my Dad...


The Rodney Cycle…

Every year, when we hit my daughter’s birthday, we start “the cycle.”   By coincidence, many significant birthdays in our family land on the cycle meaning: when daughter’s birthday lands on a Friday, then so are my son’s, mine, my step-dad’s, my uncle’s  and my dad’s.  My wife and mom miss the cycle by one day on either side.
My Dad and I had a complicated relationship, but every year without fail  he would call me on my birthday.  Then eight weeks later (to the day) I would call him on his birthday.  I looked forward to these calls each year with great anticipation.  I might not hear from Dad for months, but always on my birthday. The calls were magical. Sometimes we covered months in mere minutes.

Something went awry in 2009 and I did not get the call.  Over the next week I left several messages for him but never heard back.  Then on January 22 I got a call at work; the voice on the other end was the San Benito county medical examiner telling me my father had died hours before of a massive heart attack.  I will never forget that call:  the emptiness, the shock, my inability to breathe!

I later learned that he had been working non-stop since early December 2008 -days, nights, weekends- on a time-sensitive project for NASA which he successfully got “out-the-door” just two days before he passed.  His contributions proved critical in the successful launch of the Kepler spacecraft which, 5 years later, continues its search for new planets having already discovered more than 700. His NASA colleagues dedicated the March 6, 2009 launch to his memory (see red ellipse in photo), a gesture I will never forget.

His close friends in Hollister celebrated his birthday that year by holding a memorial ping pong tournament and they have staged one every year since. I have been fortunate to make 3 of the first 5, and will travel up north to attend again this weekend.  It is a great way to remember Dad on his birthday, but I still feel an unfilled void; I really miss those calls!

As time passes, I realize all of the conversations that I never had with him and all of the important discussions Dad and I never put to rest.  I can’t go back in time.  I wish I could.  I can only look forward and dedicate myself to my children and promise that I will always be available to have those important conversations...and not just on their birthdays.

This blog will cover lot of topics and, true to the title, without any logical order.  Almost everything will tie back to parenting in some way shape or form filtered through my off-beat mind.
Comments are always welcome...

No comments:

Post a Comment